At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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