I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it's like iHOP with fire
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
