What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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