Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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