You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
