Screwed.edu
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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