They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
