Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
