they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
