Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
