My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
