My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
