So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
