the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
