school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
