Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
