Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
