Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's just like the Real World with babies
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
