"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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