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Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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