he puts the penis in happiness.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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