this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Quick, to the slutcave!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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