Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
