My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
