U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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