and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
