Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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