fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
