In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
