I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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