the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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