So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
