We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize