Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
