Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
