what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I touched a dick in church today
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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