the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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