What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
