no, he came in my armpit
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
