You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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