I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
