She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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