I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
