I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
