I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
