xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
