I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
