Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
