Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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