I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
