Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
