He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
try to milk me bitch
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